So, here we are at the end of another year and taking stock… both of our kitchen gardens and of ourselves. I have been quiet for a few weeks not because there was nothing to do on the soil but because an accident put both my wrists/arms out of action (I’m ok by the way…..and slowly healing). When the accident first happened at the end of November I was hopping mad (I could still hop!)…..there was so much I wanted to do in the garden. I love the winter months to work my little bit of soil…..there are fewer people around…..a peace descends…..time seems to expand…and the bare bones of the garden become visible….it is my time for planning and fantasizing about the perfect garden I will create.
But.
This year I was stopped in my tracks. For a couple of weeks I felt thoroughly miserable and frustrated and a tad sorry for myself. I couldn’t face visiting the garden knowing I wouldn’t be able to do any ‘work’…I cooped myself up at home, prepared myself for months of boredom and sank into a daily mantra of ‘it’s not fair, why me?’…..’I can’t grow anything’…. I became despondent. The hours felt like
days…..
I don’t quite know how or why it happened…..but there was a day when I woke up and decided to stop feeling sorry for myself…..I started to think about all the people far worse off than me…..I thought about people I know who have come through some truly awful times, people who have somehow muddled their way through their dark ‘winters’ and have come out the other side to find their ‘spring’….and with these thoughts I found myself taking the walk down the hill to visit my kitchen garden…
It was, of course, looking a little sad…..but it didn’t matter…….there was hope in that soil. And that is it in a nutshell. As I sat outside my shed, wrapped up tight against the cold wind, I pondered all that my little kitchen garden grows……on this tiny scrap of land I have grown a ton of veggies…..but I’ve also grown friendships, grown patience, grown gratitude, grown optimism, grown peace…….I have grown humility and love. I have grown empathy and compassion.
As I walked away, through the magic gate, the words of a Persian poet rang in my head……’this too shall pass’…. we will all have ‘spring’ again one day…..I hope, for you all, that your spring is just around the corner…
Thinking about others are a blessing, it makes our worries things seem small. Spring is just 3 months away for me. I am hoping you heal soon. I follow your progress and pray daily for you. Gene
Great Vivi that you change your attitude, bless you and of course s*** happens that is life, the key how to deal with it. Your situation is not easy but you have great future, I am sure. Indeed you grow some friends as well via the internet as well not only on the plot. There is a small package that I told Sean that I am sending to you. it will be soon (around February) till then, have a good one, And of course cant without Happier new year dear Internet Allotment friend. hugs 🙂
It’s ok to feel like that when life throws problems. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. The main thing is you are back out of the other side and feeling positive again. Roll on Spring
Wow Vivi that was powerful and transcendent and so true. Wishing you a smooth and full recovery and the very best New Year
Lovely update Vivi prayers that God will surround you with his healing powers and comfort you as well and he is watching over your garden as well have a blessing New Year
We all need to budget some self pity time occasionally. It is a healthy thing to do since we come out of it realizing it we have it better than many people around us.
When my partner was enduring cancer treatments, I was too busy to feel sorry for myself. After she passed on, I was in a funk for a while: why her, why me, why us? I went back to work pretty quickly and got involved in a number of social groups to get out of the house. The nights were the worst time, but I was beat up from all the lifting and lack of sleep.
Life goes on and we make the best of it. Good vibes for healing in the wrists!
I can’t imagine the pain of losing a partner, one’s best friend……love and healing vibes right back at you. I hope your hurt lessens with time and is replaced with smiles at your beautiful memories.